Putting Others First

I was taught to put others first. You too? I was conditioned to take care of other people’s needs before my own. Make sure they are happy and comfortable. Care more about others than of myself. I was raised to give, and to give, and to give…

So I gave and I gave and I gave of myself to others for damn near fifty years on this planet. And guess what it got me? More distant from me. Lost in my world. Feeling unhappy, lonely and very depressed. How could that be? I was extremely caring and giving of others, like I was told to do….like I saw my parents do, so it must be the right thing to do!

When you are always thinking of others and what they must be thinking… or feeling… or expecting, then you wind up in this perpetual state of trying to please them. You are seeing yourself, through their eyes, then, you lose sight of who your are.

I put others first to such a degree, that I neglected myself. Why? Because I was taught and shown to put other people’s needs, wants and desires, before my own needs, wants and desires.

That’s the problem with putting other people first; you have taught them that you come second!

So what did I do?

OLOWO CLASSIC "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."

I learned to stop putting others ahead of myself…..and some called me selfish and walked away. And that is okay, for it is a weeding out process of those who are true friends.

Putting yourself first does not mean you do not care about other people. It does not mean you are selfish. You must put your happiness and health first before you can be of any help to others. It simply means you are smart enough to know that you cannot help others, if you do not help yourself first!

I learned that I am the most important person in my world, not you. I discovered that if I do not take care of me first, who will?

Sometimes you have to be what people want to call “selfish”. If you cannot put yourself first, you cannot expect anyone else to.

I found out that if I do not love me, who can?ย  How can I possibly love others, if I don’t even love who I am?

I discovered how important I am. I learned how to love me for who I am, not who you want me to be.

I have become wiser to those who want to call me friend.

I have found out that I am the only one in my world and you are a figment of my imagination, so why would I put you first, over me-self?

Love yourself first! After all, that is who you will be spending the rest of your life with.

How are you feeling about this post? Have you experienced something similar to this? Do you see the importance of putting yourself first? It does not mean to be rude to others, cuz, what you put out is what you get back.

As always, thank you for being here with me,





  1. Hi Ren. I totally agree with this post and it’s been over 10 years since I put myself first. Until then, I was putting myself second, because I was bought up the same way. It certainly isn’t rude looking after ourselves and we can certainly help others. But only when we look after ourselves and listening to ourselves, how I body and mind is feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So perfectly said, Liz! And you have a wonderful life journey shared within your blog which reflects the changes you have gone through. In fact, your blog is one of the kinds that could be turned into a book and further help others with its publication. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for the lovely comment. Not something I really thought my blog could be turned into, to say I have seen other bloggers do it. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Interesting post and one that probably resonates with many people although not all would readily admit it. My blog is basically a means to let off steam in a comedic way as I love a good laugh and anything I can write that will bring a smile to my face (in case you haven’t noticed – I tend to write for myself first and those that follow my antics be they rants and raves or some dumb stuff I write just for the sake of writing – second. One thing is for sure though and that is whatever I write is designed to leave the troubles this world is facing behind if just for a few minutes or two so that we can share a laugh or two and smile without thinking about some of the other craziness going on in the world today. Selfish? Perhaps. But it is my way of treating myself first and other things second. If that makes sense to you – we are on the same page. How does that saying go – whatever works! Have a good day and I continue to look forward to reading your blog postings.

    Liked by 1 person

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