My move did not quite go according to plan. I obviously “spoke” too soon in this post, Riding Life’s Surf Into My Next Move. Here’s what really happened!
I shipped my belongings across the country to my son’s home in California. He would bring them when picking me up from the airport to take me to my new home.
I boarded a plane in Fort Wayne, Indiana and flew nearly 3000 miles (includes an Atlanta, Georgia lay over, which was quite an experience) to San Diego, California. My son picked me up just as we had planned.
My new home was the renting of a room from a “new” friend, I’ll call Bea. She lived on top of a mountain in southern California. We met last year when I was searching for a home. She was one of many, who had a room for rent. I went to see the room and we hit it off quite well. I did not rent from her at the time and chose to leave California instead. We have kept in touch ever since, developing somewhat of a friendship along the way.
This summer, while looking for a place to live, one synchronistic event after another, led me to renting a room from Bea. We had a verbal agreement and all was well.
All was well, until I got to California. It was during the fires. The sky was blank from all the smoke. The sun could hardly be seen by day. It became a red ball on the horizon as it set.
And something deep inside me did not feel right. I thought it was due to the fires. I was so excited to see my son again, I ignored the message from within. What a mistake!
It took all day to get to California. The flight was hard on this body in several ways. I just wanted to visit with my son for a little and relax from my flight, before pressing onward to my new home. And we had a grand visit. Laughed and talked, sat in silence as we often do, simply injoying the moment.
I had not eaten all day, breakfast was unpalatable. It was getting night time and I needed food. We drove a little out of the way to eat at the first place we ever ate at, when we first got to California, in 2016. Oh what fun and we injoyed the food greatly.
I had texted Bea, informing her of my slight delay while I got something to eat. For my comfort, I keep my phone on airplane mode all the time, randomly checking for messages.
After we ate, I checked my phone to find many texts from Bea. She was obviously upset and her texts raged on regarding my late arrival. She was now going to bed and I would have to arrive in the morning instead.
And I believe THAT was what my gut was trying to tell me. “Yes, go to California. No, not to this home!”
So I found a hotel for the night.
My son rearranged his schedule for the next day, picked me up from the hotel and we were on our way to Bea’s place. A few miles down the road, I was able to get cell phone reception and sent Bea a text that we were on our way to her place.
We stopped for gas about half way to Bea’s. I checked my phone for messages and found another raging-roll of texts from Bea. This was not good. My heart began to quiver. I was going out of balance. She demanded a call from me. Oh brother!
We found a place to stop. I called Bea. She was near hysterical. The conversation ended with My staying at her place for one week, rent free, while I found a place to live. I did not like it and yet, I felt my back against the wall. I had no other place to go at the moment. I would have to endure one week there. I was feeling angry, scared and my heart was very sad. I didn’t like it. As we finished our drive to Bea’s, I did what I could to regain my calmness.
Upon arriving at Bea’s, our many knocks at her door were ignored. It was obvious she was inside. We went to the car, sat and waited.
Bea eventually came out. Eyes red and swollen. Her words were as raging as her texts. Her emotions were all over the place like a wild rollercoaster. I’d never seen anything like this. One moment she was telling me that I cannot stay there. The next moment, with a kind smile, she was inviting us inside for lunch as if we were old friends.
I allowed her to have her vocal rage. Without having said a word, I walked around the car that stood between us and gave her a hug of comfort, telling her all will be well. She commented that THAT was the Ren she knew. I sent her love from my heart and we left.
I turned to my son and asked, “What am I going to do? I feel so helpless.” He gave me his reassuring smile that all will be well. And I knew he was right. But when you are in the moment of one of life’s dramas, it’s not always easy to see the light and remain in joy. And yet I knew I needed to change my focus.
“I feel so lost! What am I going to do?”, I moaned again. My son told me what he does in situations like this. “First”, he said, “Be grateful. Be grateful for California. Feel that in your heart.” And I did. “Then”, he continued, focus on what you DO want.” And he began asking me questions of my wants.
“Well”, I began, “when I first learned that I was moving again, I held the feeling of moving to a healthy environment, with like minded people, in a friendly community.”
“Perfect”, he said. And the more we talked of my desires, the better I began to feel. And we spent the rest of the day, finding me a home.
What I could afford, was not bringing me a very safe environment to live in. Over the hours, as we searched many options, one alternative kept creeping in to both of our minds. Why not see if the family where we first lived, has any available rooms? And we both brushed it away, dismissing its possibility.
It was getting late in the night and our options kept disintegrating. Once again, the prior home we had stayed at cropped up into our thoughts. We looked at each other and knew the course to take next. My son texted the folks. We questioned if we’d receive a reply, for it was getting quite late, when a text dinged in. It was them.
Their answer was, “YES! Of course! We love Ren and she is welcome here anytime.” We let them know that we would be there by midnight. Not a problem, the door will be open, come on in!
I was welcomed with open arms and warm loving hugs. I was where I needed to be and I cherished the love I felt. It was great to be home again.
The next day, after moving in, Mel told me that over the past year, she had been secretly wanting me to move back. At times she almost sent me a text to offer me plane fare for my return. I believe her energies are what brought me to California and that is why I had a bad feeling when I kept trying to go to Bea’s. THAT was Not where my soul wanted to be and I did not listen. Isn’t it amazing how things work out?
And that is the tale of my recent moving adventure. Yet another experience in the life of Ren as she learns to Allow and Injoy life.
Injoy life, in joy
Always, in all ways