pt 2-EGO swiped my surfboard : 2012 wave #12

{catch the other posts at Riding The 2012 Wave}

Who was I kidding?
My money was running out fast!

Just a few months prior,
I completed one of the most horrible acts of my life.
It was out of character for me
and against what I believed at the time.

I had rid my debt
by filing bankruptcy.
(ego is cheering loudly right now)

photo by ren

That was SO unlike me.
I felt degraded.
(ego is glowing like a neon sign)

Dean had advised me to “file bankruptcy”
when I first lost my job.
He himself had walked away from bankruptcy
and “it really was not that big of a deal,” he would tell me.

Maybe not for him!  

It was against everything I stood for!
No bankruptcy!
I would find a way to pay my debtors!
End of conversation!

Dean was my bud for life!

photo by ren

He knew me well,
after 20-some years of bud-ship.
And he loved me 🙂
(ego sees I feel good
and is impatiently tapping my shoulder)

Dean and I could get into some heavy debates.
I use to dig my heals in stubbornly
when I felt I had ‘grounds to stand on’. (ego claps)
And could validate each of my reasons for my beliefs.
I also could admit when I was wrong. (ego shrugs)

Right now,
I was upset at Dean’s negative attitude.
And deep down inside,
I knew he was right.
Pride was blinding me. (ego was dancing a jig)
I could not admit I was wrong.

I was starting to feel quite down and out.
(ego was beaming with joy)
I almost missed my turn off for Sarah’s.

Now I needed to concentrate
and watch for deer.
I was getting closer to Sarah’s
rural Michigan home.

photo by ren

To be continued,

Originally posted June 30, 2016
Updated fall/winter 2016/2017



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