I enjoy following the 365 Days (of acts) of Kindness she is doing. What a commitment and how awesome! I have been having great enjoyment witnessing the creativity of her acts.
However, some readers feel that her acts of kindness c/should be addressed to herself. I once commented, asking if that was ‘legal’ in her book of Acts of Kindness.
In her recent post #32, this act of ‘self love’ kindness, is addressed. [I see an internal battle erupting.] And she is going to devote a week to Self Acts of Kindness. I encourage you to jot over to H E R E and check it out.
That post has triggered this post.
Some years ago, when I learned about ‘self love’…or, loving oneself … I thought it was a very selfish act. Most everyone else thought so too.
To put myself before others?….
… that went against all that I was taught. I did not believe it!
I was brought up [and society drummed into me]
that I had to take care of others, FIRST.
My EVERYONE else was more important than myself.
That was how life is! Love it! Live it! Do it!
So, all I had to do, was make everyone else feel better and I would find love in that.
Well, yes, I did.
For my entire life, that is what I believed.
And what it got me was, depression.
I was being neglected.
I was taking care of everyone else and
everyone was expecting me to take care of them.
It became my life career to keep everyone else happy.
- But what about Ren?
- No one was taking care of Ren.
- Not even Ren was taking care of Ren.
And I learned:
giving my all to everyone else…
to serve them first and
take care of their needs first….
virtually ignoring my own needs……
I learned that was wrong.
That was Backwards!
I am the most important person I know and
I will love me first.
And I do not believe you can understand that,
until you learn to love you,
for who you truly are.
And that is okay.
You have to be selfish when it comes to loving yourself.
If you are not selfish about it, then you are not fully loving yourself yet.
It is NOT selfish to love yourself!
People NEED to get over it!
If you do not love you, ain’t no one else gonna!
If you can’t talk nice about you, ain’t no one else gonna!
I am the most important person I know. Without me, I do not exist on this Earth.
It took a lot for me to learn to put myself first. Let alone to LOVE me.
Once I did, like anything else, it became easier and began to make more sense.
By loving me first, I am bettering myself and being a reflection to others.
How could I possibly truly love another person,
when I do not know how to love myself?
That makes for a very, very unhealthy relationship. I speak from experience.
I now believe, to have a loving relationship with others,
begins with self love.
In conclusion… it is easy to say the words, “I love myself”.
I know, I said that lie for years. Until I hit bottom and burned out with serving others.
I found out, it is not so easy to actually Love Yourself.
And I also found out, once you do figure it out…. it is so worth it.
It is actually easier than you think. You just gotta wanna love yourself.
That was not a contradiction.
Loving yourself is so easy, it is hard.